4 years

today is always the hardest day for me to wake up. i just wish i could sleep through it and skip over the 21st of may, but i can't. i have a family who needs me to get them a snack, some juice, to help them build the clubhouse, to go outside and play with, to just be their mom. the problem is i always feel like our family isn't fully complete, we will always be missing a very important piece. it's been 4 years since we have held sweet cooper and not a minute goes by that i don't think about him and what our family would be like with him here.

i've read many books looking for some kind of peace of mind, some kind of explanation of where he is and why but not many of them have done much for me. until i read heaven is for real written by a little boy who went to heaven for 3 minutes when he was 4 years old. he explained a lot to his dad ,who is a pastor, about what heaven is like. the most important thing he said, at least to me, was that Jesus really loves the children who are in heaven. he really, really loves them. which makes me feel a little bit better knowing that my baby is being cared for and loved until i can see him again...we love you and miss you every single day, cooper phillips hess.