over it

yesterday i had to take carson for more botox shots. he got 8 of them in his legs. he kicked and screamed while i had to hold him down. some days i am just over it. some days i wish that my sweet boy didn't have to do all this "extra" stuff that he has to do. and if i'm being honest, i'm tired of having to do it with him. i wish that we could do all the fun stuff that everyone else does instead of physical therapy, occupational therapy, doctor's appointments, ct scans, botox shots, etc. i must admit, i was pretty down yesterday. but 5 minutes after his shots carson was back to his happy self. that's all it took. 5 minutes at most for him to get over the 8 shots of botox in his skinny little legs, and i'm still hurting over it a day later. i could learn a lot from carson. yeah, it sucks that he struggles. we knew after he and his brother were born that there would be problems. we just didn't know what. i'm always looking for what is wrong, where's the problem at. and yes, clearly his walking is what is going to be most challenging for him. but if you have ever met carson and spent some time with him (and his sweet little bro, brooks) you would realize that he has no clue he's any different. and if you could see the look on his face as he walks across rooms now it would bring a tear to your eye. this sweet, amazing, wonderful kid continues to blow us away every day. he brings such joy to everyone he meets and never once complains about what he has to do. so, yesterday i was down and sad, but today when carson woke up with a smile on his face, like he does every morning, and a "hi mommy" greeting, i forgot all the negative stuff and realized just how lucky we are to have carson with us. no more feeling bad for him or me. at least not till the next round of botox. here is the same picture i posted the other day, but it just truly captures his kind spirit. you can see it in his innocent smile...