Wednesday Evening

So far Brooks is hanging in there pretty strong. I just left him for the shift change and to go eat, finally something normal. I will be walking outside for the first time in 48 hours I hope I don't melt! I must say I am drained. As a parent I have had to walk all three of my children to those surgery doors clutching the side of their beds and saying I love you, I love you, I love you till I can no longer see them. I have had to sit in that waiting room watching the clock tick by knowing my child is in the hands of someone else. I have also had to have the dreaded talk with the doctors saying there is nothing they can do to fix my child when I promised him I would. I AM DONE. I think I have been through this enough, it's not my turn anymore. I have to ask how much can one mom take? My soul purpose on this earth is to make sure my babies are safe and happy and when I am thrown something like this yet again I just have to ask why? I know Brooks is strong and he will survive this with flying colors. Sorry for the rant, but I think I am allowed, right?

Thanks again to everyone who prayed for Brooks today when I was finding it difficult to talk to God. All of you have had a part in keeping my baby safe and for that I am forever grateful. I will update again when I go to bed, but for now he looks good, the surgeon said he was pleased with his progress and hopes he continues on this track.

Comments

The Solomons said…
Lauren, You've been tested more than any mother should be, but know you have a huge prayer army waiting in the wings for you and for Brooks....while you may find it hard today, that is where we are all steping in...even those who have never met you. All day long at work (at UAB), I had people come up and ask about Brooks..they feel they know you and they are praying for you (as so many are). They knew to ask because they have continued to check on you, Andrew and Carson over the past couple of years. Stay strong and know we are here.
July 29, 2009 at 6:42 PM
april shafer said…
You are entitled to rant, Lauren--you need to, really. It is totally normal for you to question and be mad and wonder why. You and Andrew have been so strong through so many unthinkable things. You have shown the power of God and healing through your actions and how you've dealt with what life has unfairly thrown you. So, yes please rant. You deserve it and know that we won't stop praying and that everyone loves you, Andrew, Carson and Brooks.
July 29, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Lindsey said…
I got a link to your blog from Meredith Adams. Know that you and your family have prayers being said in Macon, GA. I'll be praying for your little fella!
July 29, 2009 at 7:30 PM
Unknown said…
I cannot imagine how exhausted you must be. And, you have every right to ask why. We just cannot understand the tests we are given, but no one would ever fault you for ranting. How could you not? Just know that hundreds of people spoke to God about Brooks today and I'll bet there were angels all around him. The important thing is that hopefully the hard part is over and you can get him home soon and on the road to recovery. You are an amazing mother and I have so much respect for you in how you have handled this all. Simply amazing! We are sending love your way.
July 29, 2009 at 7:38 PM
Mandy said…
Sorry Lauren, that was me above. Not sure why it had my daughters name on there.
July 29, 2009 at 7:38 PM
The Ellis Family said…
Lauren, Every mom with difficult days deserves the opportunity to be angry. It's very natural! We are facing some of those ourselves lately. I pray that you soon feel peace about all of this and that Brooks gets better very soon.

Love, Kelly Ellis
July 29, 2009 at 7:43 PM
Cheryl Leagan said…
Hello Lauren and Andrew,

Both of you have been through more than any parent I know. The feelings you are having are absolutely valid. Watching the strength you have had for each of your children has been incredible. Lauren,what's amazing is I just saw Brooks last week, and it is hard to believe he is in a hospital right now. He should be in his swing watching his brother play with his toys and his dog running around the house. Please know that Brooks is in our prayers, and we hope he is back home very soon.

Cheryl Leagan
July 29, 2009 at 9:14 PM
mandy hwalker said…
Lauren, all of you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. You are such a strong and courageous mom; and an inspiration for so many moms whose struggles cannot even compare to the obstacles you have overcome these past few years. We are all praying for baby Brooks and his speedy recovery. I hope you will continue to feel all the prayers and well wishes that surround you right now.
July 29, 2009 at 10:37 PM
The Bendingers said…
Lauren,
Hang in there! I can't believe you & your family are being tested again like this, and you deserve a rant more than anyone I know. Know that we all are praying for Brooks and all of you. We all love you all and are here for whatever you may need. I am amazed by your strength, and you are a true inspiration to so many people!!! -Nancy & Doug
July 29, 2009 at 10:43 PM
BOUNCEHIGH said…
sometimes lauren when it is difficult to talk to go is the time you need to talk to him the most.

this time evreything will be ok, i knew it from the start. you put your children in the hands of those most capable of helping and they came through today.

i am quite proud of you and andrew and i admire your strength.

uncle mike
July 29, 2009 at 10:48 PM
emilie said…
Lauren, you are totally allowed to rant and to question and to be mad that you are going through such an ordeal--again. Please know that there are so many people praying for you, for your sons, and for Andrew. I can't even imagine what you're going through and I know it is impossible now to see why one mother & family should have to go through so many hardships. I am so amazed by the strength and courage you and Andrew have. Your sons have such incredible role models in you two! And even if you may not feel strong and courageous now, that's ok because you have hundreds of people praying for you & your familiy and cheering you on. We love you! Emilie Parham
July 29, 2009 at 11:19 PM
McClure Family said…
Lauren, I woke up thinking about you and Brooks this morning. you are definitely entitled to rant and rant and rant! We are praying for you and love you!
July 30, 2009 at 7:08 AM
Avery Tales said…
Lauren, when I look at you and your family I'm amazed. You have an angel in heaven and two miracle boys. You are one of the strongest Moms I know. I've always admired your strength in taking such wonderful care of Carson, while dealing with the grief of loosing Cooper. Now here you are with Brooks, once again being strong, even when you feel like falling apart. He's going to be okay, Carson will be okay, your family will be great! Yes, you have been down a road that no one wants to travel. However, I know deep in my heart that there's a greater plan for you, Andrew and your boys. Just take each moment as it comes, one foot in front of the other. You are loved and prayed for by so many people!
July 30, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Hillary said…
Lauren!! I am crying as I get caught up on what's been going on... i've not been in touch for so long, but GEEX louise!!!! Add me to your list of praying people sweet girl
August 2, 2009 at 10:53 PM
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