Almost the Big Day

I cannot believe that Carson will be one in a few hours! In so many ways I am so happy but I'm sad to say that there will always be a tiny bit of sadness on this day for me. This day started the most scary time of my life and it didn't end until the day we brought Carson home. And then there is a whole different type of scary, the one that comes with the realization that I am responsible for this tiny little life. That's a good scary though. I think if I can make it through these next couple of weeks then I'll be OK. I just keep thinking to myself, "One year ago today..." I can fill in the blank with so many different things. One year ago today at this time I was hooked back up to magnesium puking my guts out praying that I would not deliver my babies. Sounds like fun, right? If I can make it to "One year ago today we brought Carson home free of tubes, needles, and hospitals" I'll be OK. All of those things are still so fresh in my mind. I'm not sure they will ever leave my memory. But then I see my little man and I can only think of the good things to come. I'll post some pictures of the birthday boy tomorrow!