six years

it's now been six years since a piece of my heart was taken away.  it doesn't matter how much time passes, when you loose a child that piece is never "fixed" or filled.  in all the things that carson does i'm constantly reminded that cooper is not here with him.  but in the same way, in all the things carson does i can see his angel brother with him.  always by his side, guiding him and watching over him.  and as much as it breaks my heart that he's not here with us how lucky is carson to have his guardian angel?  last year on this day as we were driving home it had just stopped raining.  i was just staring out the window thinking about the day and all that had happened.  as i looked up i saw a double rainbow.  now, i know it had been raining and rainbows usually appear after a rain but these rainbows were so vivid and one of them actually ended up right inside our car.  i could feel it around me.  i know where it came from and i have held on to that feeling everyday since.  it was simply amazing, that's the only word i can use to describe it.

as i'm feeling the newest little member of our family kick my tummy i know that we all have our angel watching over us, we love you cooper phillips hess and miss you every second of every day.